Our Philosophy
Jenny and I each began our journey's in the therapy world long before we met. Jenny was trained and licensed as a marriage and family therapist in 2007 and I began my career as a counselor for drug rehabilitation programs in 2010. We first began combining our work in 2016 after we saw that people enjoyed hearing the perspective of both a Man and a Woman. I understood the types of conditioning that I experienced as I grew up as an All-American boy in the Midwest and Jenny understood the experience of growing up in a religious household where Women are taught to be obedient wives and mothers. We both understood what it was like to challenge these ideas of "traditional relationship" in hopes of creating a different type of experience. We like to call this an "Advanced Relationship".
In an Advanced Relationship, the idea is that every issue within our relationship is an opportunity to heal a part of ourselves. Nothing is too big or too small. These "relational problems" are looked at as a pathway to more growth and not as something "wrong" with myself, Jenny, or the world. What stops us from moving through these challenges is simply a lack of information and skill. When we get stuck on a issue, we both come together to resolve whatever is happening within us and within the relationship.
This may look like slowing down to feel more deeply, utilizing a communication system, or taking space to reflect and practice self-care. No matter what, we stay with it until we both feel safe again. If we can't do it on our own, we get help from our own support system.
Over time, we have been able to bring our education and work into our own relationship to improve the systems we teach. Our ability to "be with" our relationship while in the presence of other couples has shown to be a profound, powerful, and unique experience. We consider this some of the most sacred work that we do and, at the same time, it is practical for the every day couple. There are no magic tricks but, magic can still happen.
What makes this different than anything else you have tried?
You have two people, in an intimate relationship, modeling what "advanced communication" can look like. You don't have to wonder how your coach interacts with their partner. You can see it in real time, observe, learn, and ask questions. Jenny and I are actually very different, in many ways, and that is what helps us cover a broad range of relational issues. I naturally speak from the masculine/ logical and Jenny naturally speaks more from the feminine/ emotional. We both practice integrating our less natural sides and this is often a large part of what we help couples with. We understand that safety and concerns do not always look the same for both partners. Integrating both partners points of view is the magic sauce to growing and evolving both as individuals and as a couple.
Typically, we work with couples in a 1:1 and a 2:2 capacity. Jenny will meet with one partner and I meet with the other. After that, we come together as a foursome. This mitigates some of the pressure that some couples feel that one therapist/ coach is taking one partners side. With this format, you both have an advocate. As far as I know, there are not many people on planet Earth who are doing relationship counseling this way.
free couples consultation
Who is this for?
This may be the path for you if...
You haven't experienced as much success as you would have liked with traditional therapy.
You already have personal development experience and you're ready to learn at a high level.
You really want to hear both a male and female perspective.
You want to see better ways modeled for you, in the moment.
You are highly motivated to invest in your relationship.
You want to be challenged. We don't hold back our perspectives or suggestions. The pattern is not always equal and we will tell you exactly how your strategies are impacting the relationship.
Example:
Pattern:
Anxiously attached Woman pursues Avoidant Man. He tends to take the "one up" position and she falls into the "less than" position. He is easily triggered by her feelings and he eventually shuts down. When he shuts down, she feels more upset and compulsively tries to fix things. When that doesn't work, she gives up and shuts down, too. Now, they are both stuck and disconnected.
Needs:
She wants him to open up more, make space for her feelings, and show more care. He wants her to stop criticizing him, behave more calmly, and not take things so seriously.
The Advice:
She needs to stand up for herself from a grounded place. She needs to give herself permission to feel upset and to let him know that emotionally and physically withdrawing from her is eroding her sense of safety in the relationship.
He needs to grow up, practice being vulnerable, and stay in the conversation. If he does need space, he needs to communicate that to her and take no more than a few hours. During that time, he should be reflecting and assessing how best to approach her in a way that is safe.
This is probably not the path for you if...
You have experienced physical abuse in the relationship.
One or both of you are currently in active addiction.
One of you is not committed to getting help.
You tend to blame your therapists/coaches for not helping enough.
You are too busy to make your relationship a priority.
How does it work?
We will meet with you and get a sense of what you're wanting and needing.
The most popular formats are:
Weekly or Bi-Weekly 2:2 Sessions
Or
Week 1 - 1:1 Session with each partner
Week 2 - 2:2 Session with both partners
Week 3 - 1:1 Session with each partner
Week 4 - 2:2 Session with both partners
You are also given access to the Advanced Relationship Mastery E-course.
What is the cost?
Our 2:2 Couples Counseling Program starts @ $650/ month.
How do you get started?
You can book a free consultation with the link below. If you decide to move forward, we will send you electronic paperwork and get you on the schedule ASAP. Usually, we are able to meet with you the week you sign up.
free couples consultation